Slow Movin’ - D Jordan Redhawk

Introducing Slow Movin’ Phillips, a baby dyke growing up in rural America.

The warm breeze wafting through the open window tantalized me. It was one of those late spring mornings that smelled of earth and grass and sun and cried out to be enjoyed. Fully engrossed in my desire, I didn’t hear my name being called until Jeff thumped me between the shoulder blades. Startled, I whipped my head around. “Yes, sir!”

My classmates giggled as a blush crawled up my neck.

“Good of you to join us, Lisa,” Mr. Helmer said. “Perhaps you could answer number twelve.”

Twelve? What’s number twelve? As I tried to comprehend, Jeff muttered behind me. Homework? Oh, crap! I reddened further as I realized my peers were enjoying me making an ass of myself. I cleared my throat. “I…uh, don’t know, sir. I lost it.”

Mr. Helmer let the disapproving moment drag on forever before his eyes left mine and he called on another student. I slumped in relief, blowing out a breath. A low chuckle made me look to the left. Elle Shipley was laughing at me, her hazel eyes sparkling. My skin flared a deeper red and I wished I could crawl under a rock. Fortunately, the teacher’s next question was directed at her, and I was free to nurse my wounded ego.

Great! Not only made a fool of myself but did it in front of my lust object. Good going, Slow! I received a smug expression from Elle upon her correct response and rolled my eyes.

Looking at the clock, I almost groaned aloud. Fifteen minutes until the bell. I knew if I looked outside again I’d be lost so I stared at my desk instead, fiddling with my pencil. If anything, time slowed even more. Despite my attempts to keep focused in the here and now, I found myself drifting again.

Playing guitar in a band, enjoying the flow of music and audience high. At a break I look out into the crowd and see her. Blonde hair, hazel eyes, she watches me with adoration. Spur of the moment, I play a ballad for her and she nearly swoons from emotion. After the show, I send a roadie to find her and soon she’s in my dressing room, slipping into my arms, her face tilted upwards…

Once more I jumped, this time due to the wonderful bell announcing the end of World History. As usual, I was last out of the classroom. I could never seem to get up the gumption to do anything fast. Daddy doesn’t call me Slow Movin’ for nothing.

In the hallway, I sidled up to my locker and opened it, tossing my books inside. My best friend, Jeff, was already closing his, arms full of algebra notes.

“Better hurry, Slow. I heard last period that we’re supposed to get a pop quiz.” Jeff sighed, leaning a shoulder against the locker beside mine. “I’ve got to get a C in this class or my folks are going to kill me!”

Chewing my lip, I looked into my locker. “Go ahead. I’ll catch up.”

Jeff’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Don’t even think about cutting this class. Your grades are lower than mine!”

I grinned as I grabbed my backpack. “Jeff, my friend,” I said with an air of superiority, “where the hell are you going to use algebra anyway? I know I won’t.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Big rock star, I remember.”

Hurt by the scorn in his voice, I shrugged it off. “I’m going fishing. You can come if you want…?” I watched him debate for a moment before he shook his head and turned away. “Suit yourself.” Closing my locker, I made my way out of the building. By the time the bell rang for next period, I was halfway across the baseball diamond.

After a stop at my uncle’s shed to retrieve my pole, I cut through the cemetery and followed a creek to the river. The small town I lived in fell behind me and I inhaled deeply, feeling free. A hint of humidity was in the air, promising to intensify as the day grew warmer. I knew I wouldn’t be catching much of anything in this heat, but the opportunity to lounge on the bank with only the sounds of wind and water was too strong to be denied. Reaching my destination, I saw that I was the only one skipping today. The river sluggishly moved along, meandering around a bend, tall trees and brush lining the banks. I found my spot, the grass long ago worn away to dirt, and settled down. Around me I heard birdcalls and the buzz of insects. The lunch Mama made for me supplied the bait. I put a small piece of ham on my hook, mustard still clinging to it, and cast off. Smiling, I relaxed, leaning against a boulder, shaded by an old maple. My stomach grumbled and I munched on the sandwich.

The school had probably noticed my absence and called home already. I was going to catch all sorts of hell when I returned, but the payoff was worth the licking. Daddy said I take after him far too much — he wasn’t good in school either. Mama will tsk disappointment at me. I hate making her feel that way, but I just can’t see being something I’m not. Fortunately, my younger brother, Russell, is the scholarly type. My parents at least feel they’ve done something right by him, and it leaves me more freedom. Even though I’ll probably fail my senior year, I’m not going back. Russell will graduate next year with honors to make up for my stupidity.

That’s not true. I know I’m not stupid. I’m just…. Slow Movin’. My thoughts don’t follow along the same line as others, that’s all. In defense, I’ve found it easier to act and talk like a half-wit just to keep people off my back. To be honest, most the subjects in school seem like a waste of time to me. I don’t see Daddy using world history or algebra or chemistry. Why should it matter? Besides, my strengths lie elsewhere. Give me a guitar and I can spin on a dime. Put me at a desk with an algebra pop quiz, and watch me miss half the questions.

I haven’t told anybody that I think I’m gay, not even Jeff. If Mama’s disappointed with her only daughter now, Lord knows how she’ll react to that. There are plenty enough nasty rumors about me running around school. It doesn’t help with me mooning over Elle Shipley, either, but I can’t seem to help myself. Every time she’s near, I can’t speak right, can’t think. If that doesn’t wave a big rainbow flag in front of everyone’s face, I don’t know what does.

Finishing half my sandwich, I reeled in my line and cast again. The red and white floater bobbed in the water, moving with the current until it was at its limit. I watched without thought, drifting along as well. My favorite daydream welled up, taking me far from the river.

“Whutcha doing out here?”

I almost dropped my pole at the interruption. Frantically looking around, I scrambled to my feet. Words of complaint died on my lips as I saw Elle Shipley standing nearby, hands on hips, awaiting an answer. “Nothin’,” I finally said. Smooth move, Slow! God, can you be stupider?

She arched a golden eyebrow. “Looks like you’re doing something, Lisa Phillips.” She stepped closer. “Why else would you have a fishing pole?”

“Don’t call me that.” She stopped advancing, a surprised look on her face. Oh, yeah. Suave and sophisticated, that’s me. “I just…I don’t like that name.”

Elle considered for a moment before shrugging. “Okay. What should I call you?”

I muttered, “Slow,” knowing it sounded stupid beyond measure. To cover my embarrassment, I picked up my pole and began reeling in my line.

“Slow.” She drew it out, almost tasting it. Risking a glance, I expected to see her jeering at me. Instead she smiled. “I like it. It fits you.”

Unsure if that was a compliment or an insult, I gave a slight shrug in return. “Thanks.” Snagging my hook, I debated casting again. You would if it were anybody else. Decided, I tossed the hook out again, the reel whizzing as it released the line.

“You’re good.” Elle stood at my elbow, having moved closer while I distracted myself. “My brother likes to fish. He’s a pretty good caster, too.”

“Thanks.” I smelled her perfume. Her proximity was killing me, my body humming with tension. To break my rigid stance, I decided to sit but stopped midway. Elle still wore her school clothes, a pretty blue skirt and white blouse. They’d be ruined out here. I settled my pole in the crook of a rock and shed my button-up shirt, leaving me in a sleeveless tee. Laying the shirt on the ground, I gestured toward it. “Have a seat.”

With a soft smile she did, and I fell in love with her all over again. Oh, man, am I in trouble! I sat beside her, scooping up my pole and checking the line. Remembering my manners, I asked, “You hungry? I still have half a sandwich. There’s a bottle of water in my pack, too, if you want something to drink.”

“Water sounds good.”

There was a long pause before I realized that she was waiting for me to get it for her. I hastily rummaged in my pack, nearly knocking my pole into the river as I retrieved the bottle. Handing it to her, I busied myself with readjusting the pole in an attempt to hide my flush. Of all the people to be skipping school today it has to be Elle!

The thought brought me up short. Why would Miss Popularity be skipping school? She never did things like that. She was always in class, on time, homework completed and extra credit papers in hand. I didn’t wear a watch, but I could tell from the shadows that it wasn’t anywhere near time for school to be out. “Why are you here? Aren’t you missing class or something?”

“Wasn’t much going on there today.” Elle’s tone was bored. She took a long swallow, and I wished I were that bottle. “When I saw you cross the field, I was curious. Wanted to see where you disappeared to.” Looking at me, she grinned impishly, and I knew I’d been caught staring. “Want some?”

My mouth was suddenly dry, and I nodded. She held out the bottle, pulling it away in slow increments as I reached for it until I had to lean forward. Elle’s lips were open in a smile, quirked to one side as she lured me close. Twice I stopped, sitting back, only to have her dangle the bottle within reach. The third time, I shook my head, returning my attention to the river. “Keep it.”

After a long silence, she set the bottle by my leg. “Sorry. Sometimes I tease too much.” She ducked her head, trying to catch my gaze. Her hazel eyes sparkled. “Forgive me?”

Always, my mind stuttered. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face, though I think I did a good job of toning it down. “Yeah. I forgive you.” I shrugged. Elle’s smile widened, and I became entranced.

“Good.” She looked out at the river.

We spent several minutes watching each other, doing our best not to be caught as we stared out the corners of our eyes, glancing away when the other turned her head. It was an interesting game, one I’d played before with girls. Mostly they were just trying to figure out if I was a boy or not with my short brown hair and no make up, but it was fun nonetheless.

Elle sat with her legs curled up beneath her, the skirt properly draped to cover her thighs. She leaned on one hand, her pose affording me a wonderful view of her profile. From her long blonde hair I followed the outline of her face, along the sloped nose, full lips. Her blouse was open far enough to show just a hint of cleavage, and I couldn’t help but follow its hint to the curve of her breast. I found myself wondering what her skin tasted like and if her lips were as soft as they looked.

She doesn’t want me, I thought, pulling my eyes away. Daddy didn’t need a son like him when he had me: tall, awkward, dressed in boots and jeans, hardly anything on my chest. She wants the captain of the football team, a guy who can give her what I never can. I’ll never be a guy. The weight of realization settled in my stomach, and I wished I’d stayed in school to take the algebra quiz. Despite an attempt at distracting myself by fiddling with my fishing pole, all my attention was still on Elle. Seeming to sense my mood change, she adjusted her seating until she was facing me rather than the river. I felt a touch on my thigh.

“Are you okay?”

More tired than anything, I looked at her, finding concern on her face. “Why are you here, Elle? We don’t hang in the same circles at school. It’s not like we’re friends. What possessed you to skip?” She didn’t look away, but I could see her struggle with something. Uncertainty flickered across her face. My heart ached to take it away.

“I’ve seen you watch me,” she finally said.

If there was a God, I surely needed Him now to scoop me up and send me to heaven. I’d even go to Hell! No complaint, just tell me which heap of brimstone was mine to shovel for the rest of eternity! The heat from my face was so sudden and so warm I thought I was going to burst into flame right there. Tears stung my eyes, and I stared blindly at the river.

Seeing I wasn’t going to respond, Elle continued speaking. “I think it was last fall at the Sadie Hawkins dance that I first noticed. After I danced with Ted, we went to our table and I saw you leaning against the wall, watching me.”

I remembered the moment. She’d been so pretty in that black dress that I couldn’t help but stare. Our eyes had met for a long second, and my heart had started to pound. It was like those stupid TV shows where soul mates meet; only I knew there was no such thing as soul mates. They only exist in my songs.

Oblivious to my wool-gathering, she said, “It was confusing at first. I remembered then that I’d seen you staring at me lots of times before and I began to wonder.” Elle chewed her lower lip, looking out to the river as I watched her profile. “I mean, you have to know about the rumors at school about you…”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Yeah. I’ve heard ’em.” Faggot! Dyke! Jesus, go to San Francisco or something! We don’t want you here! I never answered the accusations, never responded, just kept on doing what I was doing rather than give my classmates the satisfaction. I was Slow Movin’, not stupid.

“Are they true?”

My mouth dry as sand, I started to answer but couldn’t get the words out. Now would be a good time to die! I had barely come to terms with my sexuality, and now the girl of my dreams wanted me to speak it out loud?

Elle could tell I was on my way to a coronary because she took my hand in hers. “Don’t answer. It’s okay. I just thought about you a lot, wondering if it was true.”

Her hand was still on mine, warm and gentle. I finally finished hyperventilating and studied her. She wasn’t acting like Miss Popularity now. The mask seemed to have dropped, and I think I could actually see her. It didn’t happen often, but it was worth the wait, seeing the real Elle beneath all that I’m-so-superior air. “What if it is?” I asked, surprising myself.

Warm hazel eyes and a slight smile rewarded me. “What if it is?” she echoed, shrugging. “Might make things more…interesting.”

What? Did she just say what I think she did?

Squeezing my hand with hers, Elle laughed at my expression. “Last Christmas, my sister brought home a friend from college. Her name is Margo and her family was in Europe for the holidays.”

I frowned, trying to catch up with the change of subject. As I labored along, Elle continued chattering.

“…And dark hair. Kind of like yours only a bit longer. I just couldn’t get enough of her, you know?” Her eyes were distant, her face holding a dreamy expression. “I swear I followed her around like a puppy dog. My sister was ready to stuff me in the fireplace.”

Eyes narrowed, I began to see where this was going. My crush wanted to bond with me over her crush. If those rumors hadn’t started at school, she’d never be talking to me like this, never think of me as someone who would understand. At least she’s talking to you, I berated myself. The sensation of my heart sinking was too much, and I stared back out at the river, trying to ignore her touch.

“When Margo told me she was a lesbian, I thought of you. I have to admit, I flirted with her outrageously.” Elle blushed through her smile. “She kissed me…”

I could feel my heart breaking but didn’t have the strength to get up and run away. Sitting in misery, I fought tears, attempting to be strong in my rejection. I don’t think I’ll ever go fishing again. The silence dragged on for a long time before I risked glancing at her.

Elle was staring at me, her eyes grabbing mine and not letting me go. “Why didn’t you ever try to kiss me?”

It took several attempts and clearing my throat before I could answer. She waited patiently, her hand still on mine. “I didn’t think you’d be interested.” My voice was hoarse. Seeing that it looked like she was going to argue the point, I added, “You’re always dating guys. Your friends are all the popular kids. Why would you want me to?”

Sighing, Elle gave a little nod. “Kissing Margo was fun. But I kept thinking about kissing you.” She leaned forward and brushed her lips against mine.

I was beyond Slow Movin’. I was at Full Stoppin’ by this point. Every muscle locked as I felt the soft caress, and my body thrummed like an electrical wire. When I made no attempt to respond, she pulled away just a hair with a confused expression, her breath on my face.

“Have you ever kissed a girl, Slow?”

Eyes wide, I croaked, “No. Just my mama.”

A smile grew on her lips, a sultry spark burned in her eyes. “I’m not your mama, Slow.”

Lord have mercy, no, you’re not! She kissed me again, and at first I was relieved I could move. To my horror, I overreacted, scrambling up the side of the boulder I had been leaning on. It was all I could do to not run shrieking into the woods.

Elle sat at my feet, slightly stunned. Her face fell in a slow crumble, my heart following along. “I’m sorry. I must have misunderstood.”

What got to me was the flicker of fear in her eyes just before she looked away. As she started to rise, I leaned forward, taking her hands to help. She wouldn’t look at me, her fair skin glowing with embarrassment. It became a struggle as she attempted to disengage from me.

“No. You didn’t misunderstand,” I insisted. “I was just…I was being stupid, that’s all.” Now I was as red as her and I considered a career in science to find a cure for blushing. “I ain’t called Slow Movin’ for nothing.”

Unshed tears made her eyes shine, but she stopped trying to pull away. The faint hope reflected in them caused my breath to catch.

Still uncertain, she whispered, “Really?”

Say it, Slow! “Really.” Elle still seemed unsure. “I wasn’t expecting this, you know? You’ve only been a dream.”

She sniffled, a smile teasing her lips. “You’ve dreamed about me?”

“Yeah.” That sultry expression was back, and I swallowed hard as she leaned closer, our bodies barely touching. My dreams were never this awkward, though.

“What was the dream?” Her gaze focused on my lips.

Dream? What dream? my mind gibbered. “Uh…”

Obviously pleased at her power over me, Elle smiled and pressed closer, bringing our bodies into contact. Her hands released mine and settled on my waist, just above my belt. “What did we do?” she asked. “Where were we?”

“It’s silly,” I said weakly, realizing our stance was much the same as in my fantasy.

“Dreams are never silly, Slow.” Elle’s thumbs began tracing circles on my belly. “Were you holding me?”

Unable to speak, I nodded.

“Show me?

My palms were sweaty, and I wiped them off on my thighs before bringing them to her elbows. Heart racing, I touched her for the first time, in awe of the softness of her skin as I traced upward. Her sigh ignited a burning sensation in my belly. At her shoulders, I skimmed over her blouse, continuing on to her throat, my thumbs tracing along her jaw line.

Elle’s eyes were nearly closed. “Kiss me, Slow.”

Our lips met, and I was a goner. What began as a chaste peck expanded into a long exploration as her mouth opened. My insides tingled pleasantly as she tilted her head to one side, her tongue playing with mine as I advanced into areas I’d only seen in fantasy. Her hands slid from my waist, moving up my sides and to the back of my shoulders. I kept mine where they were, fingers buried in silky hair, thumbs circling restlessly on cheek and ear.

We broke apart, both breathless. “That’s a very nice dream, Slow.” She licked her lips. “I’ve dreamed about you, too. Want me to show you?”

I swallowed and nodded silently.

“In my dream, we’re at the Sadie Hawkins dance last fall. Instead of just watching me, you ask me to dance.”

“Dance?” I squeaked.

Smiling mischievously, Elle pulled back and recaptured my hands. “Yes. It’s a slow dance.” She drew me away from the boulder a few steps, putting my hands on her hips and bringing hers up to the base of my neck. “Dance with me?”

With an awkward shuffle I tried, but I was stiff and couldn’t get the hang of it. Her body moved against mine, and it was all I could do to concentrate on what I was doing. “I don’t know how,” I finally whispered, afraid of disappointing her.

Rather than pull away, she snuggled closer, her arms draped over my shoulders, hands running through my hair. She wasn’t much shorter than me and she whispered into my ear, “Shhh. Close your eyes. Stop thinking about it and just feel me.”

Stop thinking. Well, that was easy enough. Closing my eyes and feeling her in my arms was pretty simple, too, and I did as I was told. My hands drifted to the small of her back, our bellies and breasts rubbing together with delicious friction. She shifted her stance until we were no longer toe-to-toe, her leg insinuated between mine and vice versa. Elle began nibbling on my neck and ear, little kisses and nips that drove me to distraction. I was actually kind of glad we were dancing; I knew I couldn’t stand still, the throbbing between my legs building in tempo and strength as we continued. Becoming restless, I allowed my hands to roam across her back, discovering that gently squeezing her rear caused a very intriguing moan. Applying firmer pressure, I gasped as she bit my throat in response. “God, Elle, you’re vicious,” I murmured, baring my neck further.

Chuckling, she continued her attentions, pulling her hands from my head and dragging them down my chest. I didn’t wear a bra — I didn’t have anything that really needed support — so there was only the material of my tee beneath her hands. Her boldness was terrifying and exciting as she cupped my small breasts and squeezed them. This time it was my turn to moan aloud.

I kept one hand on the small of her back as I delved lower with the other. After some fumbling, I pulled the hem of her skirt up far enough to slip underneath. Her thigh quivered where I touched. I followed the outline of her panties. Pushing beneath the cloth, my fingers traced along one cheek, questing down and forward between her legs. Elle had stopped nibbling, leaning heavily against me and panting into my ear as she massaged my nipples. I was just as breathless, my heart thundering like I’d never heard it before and fire moving through my veins.

“Mmmm, Slow, that feels so good.” She began tugging at my tee, pulling it out from under my belt. I kissed her temple, craning my neck to reach more of her skin until she lifted her lips to mine. Her hands were hot on my skin and tongue hungry in my mouth. Squeezing her close, I stepped forward, pushing my thigh between hers, and our kiss became more frantic.

My knees were getting weak. “Elle,” I gasped, breaking away from her lips. “I can’t stand up much longer.” I whimpered as she ground against me, tweaking my nipples at the same time.

“Maybe we shouldn’t be standing.” Her hands dropped to my belt. She had to move away to work the buckle, and my fingers slid out from beneath her panties.

“But your clothes… You’ll get dirty.”

She stopped what she was doing to stare into my eyes, a wicked grin playing across her lips. “Not if I’m not wearing them.”

I froze again, the vision of Elle, naked and open to me, filling my senses. Oh, Lord! I don’t know if I can survive this! Refocusing on the girl in my arms, I found her watching my dismay with an amused expression. She hadn’t moved, waiting for my response, knowing instinctively that I’d run if she pushed too hard. I released my hold on her, watching the flicker of disappointment flare then fade when I began to unbutton her blouse. My hands were shaking again. I fumbled a couple of times with the tiny buttons, but the sight of her skin rewarded me as it was bared. Her bra was just as I imagined, an expanse of creamy lace holding what I knew to be treasure. I stroked the silky material, watching her chest move as her breathing sped up. Elle was still, her hands motionless on my belt. Wanting to see what effect I had on her, I looked into her eyes and gently massaged her breasts, cupping them in my hands. She let out a sigh, closing her eyes and biting her lip. Emboldened, I used more force, squeezing harder until a groan came from her throat.

The clasp was in front, nestled between her breasts. I reached for it, not believing for a minute that I wasn’t having another daydream. If it’s a dream, let me never wake up. Struggling momentarily, I got the snap open and brushed aside the cloth. “You’re beautiful, Elle,” I whispered in awe. Her pink nipples were distended, and I brushed my palms across them. On a whim, I leaned close and took one in my mouth, suckling.

Elle gasped, hands flying to my head. “God, Slow, that feels fantastic!”

My arms wrapped about her waist and back, the sensation of her skin on mine causing a shiver. If anything, the nipple in my mouth swelled larger. I remembered the sharp ache of her twisting mine with her fingers so I bit down. She wavered in my arms, clutching me to her breast with a moan. Kisses rained down on my head and her arms scratched down my back, tugging on my tee.

I barely had time to give her other breast a lick before she was dragging my shirt over my head with insistence. I paused just long enough to lose it, then my hands found their way to her again, touching everywhere. We came together, kissing hungrily, breathing hard, biting and nipping. For the life of me I cannot describe the sensation of her skin, the feeling of our breasts rubbing or our bellies sliding against one another. I only know that it wasn’t enough.

Apparently, Elle felt the same way. She finished working on my belt and had my jeans open in no time. Sliding her hands down my rear, she slipped inside my boxers and squeezed me. I growled into her mouth, following her lead as I found the zipper on her skirt. Once it was unfastened, the entire thing slid down her legs, leaving her half dressed. My reach was unimpeded and I massaged her rear, fingers questing forward.

By this time, neither of us was concerned about the welfare of her clothing. Elle still wore her shirt and bra, both open, and panties. I was naked from the waist up and, after a bit of work, my jeans were pushed to my upper thighs with my boxers. Deciding to take matters into her hands, Elle eased her fingers through the hair between my legs until they slid across my clit.

That’s it! No more standing! My knees buckled at her caress. I fell backward with a thump, taking her with me. Elle called out in surprise and we both froze. Cool riverbank earth pressed against my back and butt. Straddling me, Elle still had her hand in my jeans, cupping me. We stared at each other for a couple of seconds before she burst into laughter, and I couldn’t help but follow.

After our chuckles died down, she leaned forward with a sexy smile. “This is much better.” My ears barely registered her comment when she continued where she’d left off, gently easing her fingers along my wetness.

As Elle extensively explored, I could only close my eyes and enjoy the ride. I found my hips undulating of their own accord, my breath harsh to my ear as she played. Unable to keep my hands still, I dragged them across her body, from thigh to hip to breast, pulling her down and blindly kissing whatever I could reach. Soon a rhythm developed between us and I lost myself within it, rising higher and higher. When I came, it was with more force than I had ever imagined as I called her name.

I don’t think I fainted or anything, but I know I was gone for just a few seconds. With a shaky sigh, I ran my hands along Elle’s thighs, grasping her hips. She was watching me, a look of smug curiosity on her face, a finger in her mouth. It took a moment to realize that it was the same hand that had been so busy inside me. My belly twisted in desire, and I licked my lips. “Taste good?”

Nodding, Elle smiled, raising an eyebrow. “Very,” she purred.

On their own, my palms slid up her sides, cupping her breasts. “I think it’s my turn.”

She arched into my caress with a promising grin. “I think it is.” Leaning close, she mouthed the juncture of my neck and shoulder. “And I think you should follow your name, Slow.”